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Bluebonnets and Barbeque, I Am Coming Back to You!

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 18:03:09 GMT

OK, so when does this ever happen? This is a magical moment right here, my friends! A double blogging week! Well, I have some just wonderful news for my friends in Dallas and not so much for my friends in MO. When I went home for Christmas, friends and family were asking me, "So, Jo, when you comin' back?" in the popular semi-southern drawl that many of my loved ones have. I answered, "Oh, no, I'm pretty settled, and I don't think I am coming back," thinking to myself, Well isn't that just darn cute that they thought that. Hmm. Yeah.

To give you a brief synopsis, I will just say, that this past year and a half in Kansas City has included me really wrestling with God while being away from close family and friends, (yet making many great ones here in KC, MO) and finding out His delight in me and my delight in Him. I feel a deep and meaningful connection to His love that I have never felt before in my life. I've been able to read the word of God and have it read me to say the least. The stories of the life of David and His awesome partnership with God compel me.

During this past half year, God has been laying a burden on my heart about what to do next but I hadn't opened my heart to receive it yet cause I was comfortable, a somewhat dangerous place to be. The turning point started like this: One morning in February, I woke up and told the Lord, "I know that I feel settled here and I have worked really hard to get my classroom together and I love my pals, but if you want, and give me the grace, we will up and move!" That was a quick, intimate and honest prayer. That very day, the Lord starting confirming things through a friend about the burden of what to do next! I knew that I had been filled up with the word of God and the final straw was just knowing within the core of me that it was time to pour out! It took about a couple weeks before God started planting my heart back in Texas! I told my friends here, principal and other fellow teachers and they have been so supportive and I am very excited about it, yet sad about leaving beautiful Missouri. Oh, Kansas City, I will always remember your red and golden giant Autumn trees and the zeal of the worshipers and intercessors at International House of Prayer Missions Base. But, God will make up the difference!

He has just given me a vision to to follow His lead and invest in young people's lives for a season in Texas. The details are all still in the works, but my anthem has been, "I am not sure about a THING, except that I love you, Lord!" It's kind of difficult to put the process in words, but it's like you're in a wave pool and the current is by all means going one way and then it just turns around and goes the opposite way. I just love flowing along with God's heart. This is the only way for me.
I will be making my way at the beginning of July and I am looking forward to spending time with my old Texan pals and making new ones! So, special friends, I will see ya'll soon in Texas!

Faithfulness and February

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 15:18:56 GMT

Faithfulness and February start with the same letter on purpose. February has been a wonderful month consecutively because it's birthday month for yours truly! I have now been alive for (insert calculation of 365 days times 26, that times minutes , that times seconds and all that jazz) --a long time! A long time of God's faithfulness. I am happy and free and loving being delighted in by the Lord and delighting myself in Him. It's a grand time even though it's not always an enjoyable time. It's rocky and good in a different way. Grace is over sufficient.
A wonderful story for you! I got my Roland XP-80, Rolanda in May 2001 for high school graduation. She's been a good girl but she has so much stuff on there that keyboardists use and I do not consider myself a keyboardist. What am I going to do with sirens and Bubble Bass? Exactly.
When I went to Korea, they delivered a beautiful, real, glossy black piano right into my classroom. I talked about it on here--explore archives if you want to. This thing was great to play on. It was professionally tuned and well, my fingers were spoiled for 8 months. When I went home, I tried to play on my non-weighted Rolanda and there just weren't the same dynamics.
Long story short, I have been praying for a keyboard for a while since then but I didn't know exactly what I wanted. I just knew I wanted something weighted with an accurate depiction of a piano sound. (Sorry, Rolanda, close your ears for this one.) I was getting tired of playing on my keyboard and it was just sounding--wrong. I did my research online. Around the start of the school year, I talked to the Chennankaras and they all told me the Yamaha CP300 was the winner. Meanwhile, I remembered that when I go to the International House of Prayer-prayer room, they have this perfect sounding weighted keyboard that they play on and so I emailed a worship leader to ask only to find out that it is the CP300 that they play on as well!
I began to tell the Lord, I really like this keyboard. I never know how you do it, but thank you for this board. I trust you. You know what I want. February 12, I got a call from the lady who does my taxes in California, who is also my good friend Rebecca's mom. She called me to tell me that I would be getting $791 for my return in the next 4 weeks. I was thinking, Hallelujah! I can sell my keyboard for $700 and then put it together with this and get a couple hundered more and BAM! CP300!
I looked online that weekend and saw a CP33 which is the edition right under for $780 on ebay. I was kinda bummed. I was thinking, If only the money was here right now, I could have bought this board, but it will be too late in 4 weeks!! Then, I remembered God and confessed to Him, No, I trust you, you know what I want, Love.
A week later, I received the tax papers that I had to sign to get the process started. The cover letter on top of the thick packet of papers said, Your refund amount will be paid in the amount of $1,816.00 and it will be processed and given to you in the next 4 weeks after you sign the appropriate forms. I was completely beside myself! That was more than doubled the amount that they told me. I signed the forms and put it in the mail the next day. What was God up to? I felt that familiar feeling of Him taking the reins.
The next day, Rebecca, (who's mom is my tax lady) flew in for my birthday! I told her about the amount and she said it seemed like a type-o and that we would call her mom the next morning to fix it. The next morning, I woke up early and decided to check my bank account. Well, to my shocking surprise, $1, 816.00 was deposited into my account!!!! This didn't make sense. It was only 2 days after I sent the return. The stamped envelope had to hit California and get processed first! God did something! I was ecstatic! I had to go to the bathroom and wash my face and cool off, and I remember thinking, God! What is this? Suddenly, I heard Him in my heart say in my heart, Because you've been faithful. I remember feeling a violent disagreement with this statement in heart. But then I remembered, By the word of the Lord were the heavens and earth made and I will receive His word over me....
I looked online and around at different stores and was somewhat discouraged. This Yamaha CP300 that I wanted cost $2, 199.00. I kept telling the Lord that I know that He is the Author and Finisher and that He won't start something without finishing it. The next day, I looked on ebay and I found a reboxed brand new with factory waranty Yamaha CP300 for $1850.00. My parents gave me a check for $50 for my birthday and I already had $200 in my bank prior to so I used that to in order to pay tithes, so it all totaled out to having a little more than $1850.00!!

I cannot believe that my CP300 that was just a dream a few weeks ago is sitting in my very bedroom! That keyboard a thing of beauty, not just because of aesthetics, but because of the beauty of God in His faithfulness speaking faithfulness over me, wretched and broken, me.

Sidenote: I have this thing about green, right? It's truly my favorite out of existing colors in the world. Thus my guitar's name is Baby Jade--the precious green glass..and so the name for the CP300...Lady Emerald. Because, she is royalty and I feel like a pauper in her presence. I'll take a picture for you guys. Ps. Emerie for short when we're just kickin it girlfriends, oldschool.

Moral of my story:
If you bring the Lord your love with ALL your heart, soul, mind and strength- or atleast posture your heart to do so, you will ask for wonders AND GET THEM! :)

"Ms. V's Sparkling Second Grade"

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:53:53 GMT

Wow, it has been a long, LONG time, my friends. I apologize. Well, what is new, you say? Well by this time, many things have been new that are now old. I'll do my best to give you the brightest of the highlights. I did teach 4th grade last school year, as the last little "article" told ya. That was wonderful. Those children were definitely hurting and God used me to speak truth into their lives. This is definitely a fatherless generation. This summer I got to visit one of my closest of pals, Rebecca, and she and I actually met up in South Carolina to see Jonathan and Lisa, two of the friends we taught with in South Korea. It had been a year since we all left Korea. We gathered in South Carolina because some of the kids we taught in Korea and their parents there for a week! We spent time together for a few days and caught up and shared memories and took pictures. I spent the rest of the summer in Rochester, NY with Beck, (Rebecca) where she is in grad school. Her and her roomies were a blast. When I came back home to MO, I had much prepping and orientation before the new school year. I recieved a job at the same school to teach 2nd graders. (That's us in the top picture.) God worked it all out for me because there was just one opening and this was my favorite grade to teach. I took it! So as of 3 months, I have been teaching my fun-tastic, overly exuberant little 2nd graders. I really enjoy this grade because they are just so darn blunt, oblivious of people's opinion, hilarious unintentionally, cute as heck, sponges awaiting to absorb knowledge, a great balance of independence/dependence and my favorite--randomly and genuinely hug-y. I can honestly say that I am never bored. I am either laughing my head off or a little peeved about something naughty they've done. I am completely devoid of dull moments in that classroom. There are no slate gray, down tempo cubicles involved--(basically, I do not work on the set of Office Space). I have a very lively bunch that keep me on my toes (almost literally) all day long. One thing they have taught me is that consistency equals exhaustion. I feel at times that I am parenting twenty-one little 7 and 8 year olds. About half of them are independent, too smart, and too grown for their age while the rest of them are kind of needy and in need for me to read/explain to them anything with words because of the lack of parent involvement at home. Some kids come to school with old, holey clothes and hungry and it hurts to see them missing out on a good childhood. On the light side, I have about 4 students that are exceptionally hyper ones who also conveniently believe in their little hearts that they are super heroes. No. Seriously. I have one who thinks he is Spiderman and shoots spider webs around the classroom when the rest of us are at the carpet working on decoding new words. Geez. There is one who thinks he is Hulk, and who dismisses himself ever so conveniently from our world and goes off about the room with a "hulk trot"-imaginary muscles and all. Yes, but it's not funny when you are his teacher. You try telling Hulk to trot back to earth and to phonics, at that. Hulk has no interest in learning double o's or frequently misspelled words, for that matter. Well, besides all that drama, I am really enjoying my little "cottage" with my fabulous roommates. I call it so, because well, it just looks like a cottage from the outside. Really, it's a 5 bedroom town home with a neat living room and basement and such. It's cozy and comfortable and just suits me nicely, I think. I still have my guitar and keys and music stuff going on up in my room, and am also taking vocal coaching from a classically trained missy. I am still writing and just loving the Lord and interceding for whatever/whoever He puts on me to pray about. Um. Let's see. Oh yeah! I got to go home to Texas to see my wonderful family and pals for Thanksgiving. That was tremendously wonderful for my heart. I do miss it, but I gotta say, fellow cowboys/gals, there is no lasso in Texas strong enough to pull me away from the beauty I experience here everyday. I kinda live for Kansas City's towering trees rooted on their hilly land homes, and for being surrounded by her gorgeously bright painted dead leaves buried in pure white snow. When the snow melts, the leaves' pretty colored faces are seen again. I can't trade it in for Texas right now. Maybe later. AND maybe later, I will continue to bore you with Kansas City sentiment. Just kidding. However the pictures here show the place and true reason why I am still here in KC, MO...teaching my little friends. In this perverse world, these are the mouthpieces that need to be raised up to make war for righteousness in the name of Jesus Christ. Well, God bless you, keep you and shine all up on ya- 'til next time.

abc is easy as 123 (again)

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 20:13:21 GMT

Guess gee-golly what, Bobby? I have some good news, don't-cha know? I went to my interview last Friday, pressed, dressed, carressed by the Word. I was ready to go! I drove to the Elementary school, and as I was getting out of the car, I could hear the Lord's voice so near, "Take a deep breath, you're alright. " As I was approaching the doors of the school, he said, "I am proud to present you." While I was waiting for them to call me to the backroom for the interview, he said, "You are a daughter of the Most High." These three things I held on to tightly. God was asking me to relax, take confidence and heart and him, and was telling me that he was proud of me and that I belonged to Him. This made it quite a bit easier to sit back. When they called me in, I was asked to sit down at table where already seated was the Principal, School Counselor, the 4th grade teacher I was being interviewed to replace and another teacher. They introduced themselves and told me what the interview was specifically for. It was for a fourth grade teaching position, which I already knew, but I did not know it was for the remainder of this school year and the following school year. I felt like I should just go along with the interview. I knew if God wanted me to do this, I would get it. If not, no. At the first of it, I was a bit nervous, and my brain was telling my mouth to say the cool things it was thinking, but it did not come out so well. After about a minute or two, it picked up and I felt such a grace to give such "Miss America" answers. Meaning, they asked all kinds of questions about student/teacher/parent scenarios, standardized testing, inner-city students and my experience, my teaching and discipline styles, reaching individual students, etc. The Lord gave grace to my lips and I was speaking and some of the most enjoyable answers came out. They were writing away and taking notes furiously as I spoke. At the conclusion of the interview, they said, "Thank you, Jodie, and we will contact the candidates on Monday and inform them of the status of the position." I walked to the car in such a confidence of God that I could have skipped like Little Red Riding Hood. Seriously. He had a special cloak on me. It was nuts. I was driving home, reminding myself of the importance of resting in Him, like I told you guys earlier. When I went home, I started trying to analyze it, and I told myself to stop, and remain underneathe the shadow of His wings. I told the Lord, I don't know if you want me at this school, if you do, give me the job, and if not, I don't even want it. But I had such a good feeling, such a prominent peace. The craziest thing happened next, I layed down on the sofa and fell into such a deep sleep. I usually wake up to anything, I'm such a light sleeper. It's like the Lord LITERALLY had me rest in Him. I woke up to my cell phone ringing at about 2:30PM. It was the counselor of the school. "May I speak to Jodie Varghese?" "This is Varghese," I said, because I was so disoriented. Hilarious! "Ms. Varghese, we would like to offer you the 4th grade teaching position at our school, are you still interested?" Of course, I was. I had to find out how to do a backflip or something quick. I was major-ly happy. They couldn't even wait until Monday! God is magnificent! So, I am a 4th grade teacher starting the 25th of February. Yeehaw! This here is a picture of my 2nd grade students that I student taught in Mesquite 2 years ago. Just thought I'd celebrate children with a picture of some of my old students. Cutsies they are.

the grand finale (maybe)

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 03:02:40 GMT

It was a matter of a minute before we pulled in to the driveway of an older, tranquil, cute little house. I walked in and it seemed so peaceful. Hazel led me to my room and it was terrific! The walls were-guess what! GREEN! It so happens to be my favorite color and what is incredible is that the walls of my room in Texas are also a similar, but brighter pistachio color! It took but a few moments until I started thinking it would be “home”. I journaled as soon as possible, thanking the Lord for his kindness and stubborn faithfulness. Hazel informed me that rent would be $175 a month. This includes utilities, high speed internet, a brand new free washer and dryer, my own room and privacy! With the check I had received and after tithes, I had exactly $180. I knew the Lord was at work. That evening, I continued journaling, Lord, I’m hungry, but I know that you will take care of food. Just like he reminded me at the airport. Elijah and the ravens. Then it hit me, there was this place called “The Garage” which is this area where organic stores like Wild Oats and Whole Foods come and drop off a bunch of their extra food for the ministry students at IHOP. I went into the kitchen where Hazel was and asked her if we could stop by there. She said that she had no idea what I was talking about, “I don’t know what you are talking about, but, you see all this food in this house?” (There were all kinds of organic groceries-fruits and vegetables and fresh bread and pastries and meats and you name it!) “We don’t buy groceries in this house-we go to “The Drop,” She explained that this is a place where quite similarly, Whole Foods has all of this extra food and donates it to IHOP ministry students and families. She told me that I was welcome to eat anything in the house and that we were going to “The Drop” the next morning. Yea! We went and guess what! I had more than I could ask for! WOW-is all that was ringing through the praise halls of my heart. The month has flown by. There were some problems in the relationship dynamics of the house between a couple of the people living there. Just last Thursday, after 3 ½ weeks at the house, the problems between the roommates escalated, and as strange as this may sound, I knew in my heart that my tiny season at the little house had come to a sudden halt. The Lord came and whisked me right out of there within a matter of a 2 days. He paved ways for me to live with my Internship small group leader. I am living there as of now, with 3 other girls in an apartment. No, it is not easy as red velvet cake, but I know he has always has me living with different people than myself to dig out different struggles in the old chambers of my heart, and turn me into gold. This is where I am today, but who knows for tomorrow. I have learned to keep my wings handy. I never know when he wants me up and out. Every day has been a spirit-flesh struggle. I have to understand my role as a daughter of the King. He has been teaching me that the most important job I have as a Christian is to rest. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength,” right? Well, what is love without trust, and trust discards itself without rest. I am camping out underneath the shadow of his wings. I hope I’ll meet you there.

Ps. I have an interview at an inner-city school for a 4^th grade teaching position at 9:30Am Friday, February 8. Please pray for me. AND I am turning 25 on the 23rd of this month! AAA!

Pss. Some have been asking for my mailing address to send postcards, pictures of your baby, tambourine catalogs. OK-here it goes. This will only be good for this month cause I might be moving again, obviously. Peace, Love and the Dove!

Jodie Varghese

3307 E. 113^th Terrace

Kansas City, MO 64137

(continued...)

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:16:34 GMT

Going home to Texas was a bit exhausting. I was going to be home for 2 weeks for Christmas and New Year's and meanwhile I would have to tell my friends and family that I would be moving to MO. However, it was so good to be home see everyone for the holidays. I was checking email and calling people prefusely only to find that noone else besides myself was feeling a sense of urgency. Noone responded. I kept telling the Lord, I trust You, but I really need your strength to. After telling my parents of the move, they were disheartened and frustrated that I would be away again, and I knew that once again, I did not have their support. Meanwhile, I reached the lady who told me on the phone about a potential job right before I left MO. She asked me how things were at home and I told her that it was a bit difficult telling my parents, because according to the Indian culture, I should be getting married and secure by now. She then responded, "Did you work with me one Sunday, I think I know you!" The one day I substituted in the nursery that Sunday, I met this beautiful South American teacher named Mauda, who was the same lady on the phone who had told me about the job! God blew my mind! That one day! Before I knew it, the break was over and the night before it was time to go arrived. Nobody had replied besides one lady who could not help me. I did not know where money was coming from, who was going to take me from the airport, where I would stay, what I would eat, where I would work, who would be my friends. Nothing. In my brokenness I kept telling the Lord, I don't know ANYTHING except that I LOVE YOU! That night a friend called me who knew nothing of my "provision" period and told me that God put it on his heart to bless me. He left a card and a $100 check in my mailbox. Next, I got a call back from Paris, the girl who took my things in before I left MO. She told me that she would be at the airport already the next morning, that she would take me back to the campus and to call her when I landed. The next morning, I said my farewells in TX and my brother took me to the airport. At the airport, I kept telling the Lord, I love you, that's all I know. He brought to my mind "Elijah and the ravens" and how he provided everything for him. I accepted this in my heart. When I arrived in MO I called Paris. It she pulled up and proceeded to tell me that she had dropped off the girls 3 hours before and was just napping in her car until I arrived. This girl is on night watch so 10:00AM is like midnight for her. She did this for me, a total stranger! As we were driving, I saw that nobody called me back about where to stay. She told me that she had similar experiences and that I could come back to her apartment. She said that her roommate was gone for two weeks and that I could take a nap in her room while she slept in hers. Sure enough, I collapsed. A few hours later, I woke up and started making calls again. No success. Paris also woke up and she went downstairs and started making biscuits, gravy, hashbrowns and eggs from scratch for me. A stranger! She told me that if nobody responded I could just go to church with her that night and maybe somebody would be there that could take me in. Well, nobody responded and so we started on the road for church. Suddenly, I felt I should call Mauda, (the nursery teacher) when I did, she asked me if needed a place to stay for a few days. I told her that that was just what I needed. Her husband agreed that I could stay until Thursday. Her house was on the way to church! Paris dropped me and my suitcase and guitar off and said that I should just call her when I have a place to stay to get the rest of my belongings that I initially left with her. Mauda's house was beautiful. An early 1900's that her and her husband had freshly broke down and rebuilt inside. Her three kids were precious, but very young and extremely fussy that night. Mauda and her husband talked to me and made me feel welcome and showed me to my room upstairs. Soon we had dinner and it was time to go to bed. Laying there, I heard the children and the home situation and knew that this didn't seem right. I began to cry and thanked the Lord for the warm bed, but also thanked him for the further preparation. I felt so weak and tired, emotionally, spiritually and physically. In a few moments, Mauda came in with some more sheets and told me, that when she first came to MO an older lady took her in and is like her mother. She said that she didn't know why she didn't think of it earlier, but this lady has one extra room in her house that she is renting out. She said that she inquire about it the next morning. I praised the Lord that night, because I knew something good was going to happen. Early the next morn, I awoke to the children crying and so I wanted to get on it, I went to Mauda and asked her for the lady's number. She said, that she would take care of it. I was thinking, Great, I can't do this all day Lord. Well, the Lord knows how much we can handle. I went in to take a shower and Mauda came up to me and told me that Hazel, the lady, would be there to pick me up at 10:45AM, to take me to the house and show me around. That was within the hour! I took my shower, packed everything perfectly and took it downstairs and ate breakfast. Exactly at 10:45AM this older lady comes walking into the house. (OK, go take a potty break, and we'll finish this up. Meanwhile, I'll post a pretty MO tree picture for you to look at for being so good) :)

the word: provision

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 23:13:32 GMT

So, let me start by saying, God has been taking me through a season of provision. When I say provision, I am talking about Him providing, and me waiting. PROVISION in every sense of the word. At the beginning of the internship, the Lord had been dealing with me about sacrificial giving, and put it on my heart to give all of the money I had saved up away. It was very scary at first, but to see how the Lord came through for me was incredible. My groceries were paid for by people who did not know of the situation, an envelope of cash in my Bible anonymously one day, bills rolled up and placed in my Bible anonymously the next, people just handing me checks. So, yes, in due time, provision would drop in my lap throughout the whole semester. What did I do meanwhile? With the money He provided, if I heard of anybody that needed money I started passing it out, I took the entire tab at restaurants if I was eating with folks, paid for others’ grocery bills. This was my “Okay God, I’m taking your promises on strong, let’s go!” Yes, it really did hurt some times. I went to sleep crying sometimes thinking about everything, and calmed my heart by saying “Be anxious for nothing!” and wake up in tears sometimes and cry out to God, "Grace! Grace!" I would command my soul to rest in the Lord. Wow. He was always on time. I am so bewildered and even a bit creeped out sometimes at how active and awesome He is. The following are more specifics about how God really came through before I left home for Christmas when he asked me to trust him completely about a home, food, finances, and transportation.

During the internship, there was one Sunday at church where a 2nd semester intern asked me to sub for him in the nursery room so he could enjoy the hip-hop group that was leading worship. I agreed, and there I met the teacher of this nursery class, a beautiful South American woman of God from Florida. She was so sweet and eager to know about my spiritual and cultural background. And this was the only day I subbed for that class. (Towards the end of the track, like most of you know, God was dealing with me about doing the second semester in MO after the track was finished. Well, things took another route with raising support, so after much prayer, I decided to find a home in there, teach for Spring and save up the money to do the second semester during the summer of ‘08. I felt like meanwhile, the Lord wanted me to to still be a part of the prayer movement at the school, stand in the gap for our nation, and wait on Him for more revelations of His heart in order to write more God-loving-finely-depicted music and such. So, I agreed.

I started asking anybody I knew about a place where I could live, calling profs, emailing, contacting anybody that I knew that was a daytime person, because I would switch to days in the Spring in order to teach. Everybody I knew were night timers because of my night Internship. I had to act fast because it was finally the end of the internship and it was time to go home for Christmas. The day the internship ended, it was mandatory to have everything moved out clean and to be checked out. I had to put all of my things somewhere and I needed to know of where I was to live. Throughout this entire time I kept telling the Lord, “ I don’t know anything except that I love you.” Nobody was calling back or emailing back or responding. The day before I left, I was talking to a friend who was also trying to find a place to live. She was on the phone with a lady that was renting out rooms in her house. She handed me the phone and when I talked to this lady, she also told me about a job opportunity but said that the price I was looking for, $200 a month, it was not feasible. She told me about a job however. The next day it was time to leave, I was distraught about where to put my things but I kept telling the Lord I trusted Him and to tell my soul to rest in the Lord. After I had packed all of my things, I headed out to the cafeteria to eat breakfast. When I was there I mentioned to a girl my situation. I needed to find a place to store my things until I came back in two weeks. She gave me the number of this girl, Paris. I called Paris and she immediately said, “Sure! Where are you? I will pick you up in 10 minutes!” I was freaked out about God’s goodness. It was snowing that day, and she was moving into this new apartment of hers. She stopped everything put my very, VERY heavy items in her car by herself. She drove me to her new apartment, drug the stuff all the way up her stairs and placed my things in her closet before moving anything of her own into that room. She simply said, “Yeah, I’m glad I could help and keep my number and call me when you get back!” She told me that this kind of stuff was done for her numerous times. That was a complete stranger! (Story continued above, go take a water break :)

love, love You are

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 05:37:56 GMT

1.Separate, yes, stand afar and consecrate

Yet stand amidst, illuminate, for Love waited for

Dissipate, go tell this Love emancipates

Be still and know, anticipate for Love waited for

Chorus:

Love, Love, you are Love waited for

Love, won’t you SHOW me, TEACH me, FIND me

I know you are OH-H, OH MY, OH MY LOVE,

Lord you are Love waited for

Love YOU’RE MY ONLY, KEEP me, HOLD me, my Love waited for

2.Society, she has her ways, “recycling”,

But this fire I have, He’s kindling, He is love waited for

Syncopate to the rhythm that she thinks is great

Unfair exchange, faith for fate

And for Love waited for

Bridge:

Hopes all things belieeves all things

Love never fails, no, no

Angels can’t separate us

Demons can’t separate us from you

Height, Depth can’t separate us

Nothing could ever take us from your…

3.You conquered all, counted the cost then won it a

Death has no sting, you fought the cross

My Love waited for

Come soon again, my heart will not accept penance

This world’s cheapened, and hyped up sense

Oh Love waited for

(Ending fade)

…I know you are

…You are what I’m waiting for

...Come quickly my Love

Lo-ove, Love, you are.

PS. This picture was taken from my good friend, Lali Stanley. Her and her husband are awesome photographers. Check out their page! www.nijistanley.com

the ram

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 16:00:06 GMT

Okay, let me share with you a miracle that happened to me. If you don't have time, then just close this and come back to it later, but please don't pass it by. Okay, like many of you know, about four months ago, I applied to escort an adopted child to its' new adopted parents in America. I applied with HOLT, an established international adoption agency to be an escort, and how it works is they pay for your ticket to come to America basically. The chances are very slim because there are many applications and babies only come occasionally. If you are accepted and there is a baby to escort, they only give you a one week notice from the date you give them that you want to leave the country. I told them I wanted to leave te first week of July. Two months after I applied, I was praying about what to do. I just told God that I would rather not escort a child, and just have time alone to reflect on the way home. God stopped me, "Jo, don't be selfish even during your last moments here, I could pour out my love through you to this child...many people try to escort these kids that don't know me." I told God yes, in that case I would escort the child, and would NOT purchase a ticket and believe that he would take care of it. Well the week before was of course, last week. When I called the agency, they said there were no babies. God gave me peace as I called the other 3 agencies. By the end of the week, no calls, no babies when I did call. I was so confused. I cried out to God for a strength exchange and for peace. God led me to read about Abraham, "by faith Abraham...Noah...etc." I really did feel like Abraham, traveling up that mountain with his sacrifice. I had so many questions. What about your promise, Lord? I journaled thanking God in advance for my "ram", my "rain". But, my faith was on and off. I had to ask God for strength, day by day, sometimes hour by hour, as people were asking me when I was coming home and when I was leaving, as the banners and goodbye parties started up. The only answer I had for people was that God will take care of it. I repeated this so many times. "I don't know when I'm leaving, but He will come." WOWSERS. It was nuts. This was definitely a trial. I even thought I made this all up. As I asked God for confirmation, His presence warmed me and I broke, sensing He was going to rescue me. The past couple of days have been so rough. I was ready to go home, I had already gone through the emotional detachments. My family and friends faces running through my mind. But, the clock was ticking, and the phone wasn't ringing. Yesterday, I had a Korean friend call the agencies for me and they told her that babies were only available in September and October. I started panicking, thinking...Oh no, God is going to ask me to stay! Again, cried and finally resurrendered it to God. Today, I stayed home, finished a scrapbook I was making for my student, and talked to some great old friends. They prayed for me and encouraged me. I was crafting away all day, on and off the phone, listening to some worship music, just thanking God and remembering Him. In the evening, I talked to some more people. The last friend I talked to had something incredible to tell me. "Jo, I was praying, and God told me to buy your plane ticket, so I did." This friend was saving up her tithes for so long and did not know what for. Just like Abraham, I had been climbing up that mountain these past few weeks. I didn't understand when or how or what, and I had no idea that God was just testing my faithfulness, to see if I would obey him or not. The ram did come my friend and the whole ticket was paid for! Not just partially as with the agency. I didn't get to escort a child, but maybe another time. My friends, the best faith is foolish faith. Faith is this thick, mist that you can't see past but you have to step through. You can't see your refinement through it, but it's there. Boy did God ever come through. He will for you too! I am coming home Sunday night at 7:35PM! Praise God! Yesterday it was a dream, but today, it's not.

sing a song of sixwon, a pocket full of rice

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 13:43:46 GMT

WOW! I know it’s been ages since my last so called entry. My Xanga blog has expressed his jealousy of my tangible old-fashioned writing journal. He gets all my attention/chicken-scratch. Anyway! These past few months have ran by and knocked me down like a huge gust of wind. It is the beginning of July. You know what this means right? Okay you don’t? Well….I’M COMMMMMMIIIINNG HOMMMME folks!!! Wow. I have a bunch of stewed emotions about that. This place feels like “home.” I know it isn’t. But, I am in love with these people, their culture, their children, their artistic passion, their language. Everything. It’s going to be very difficult for me to come back home. Also, this is strange but, obviously I have never ever understood completely what people are saying at school, stores here, or in the streets, at any outreach programs we’ve done, at church, etc unless it was translated. I’ve been getting around with my broken Korean. It will feel extremely strange to come back and understand EVERYTHING that people are saying. MUCH worse is people will be able to understand what I’M saying. I have just thought out loud without a care in the world for all this time. You have no idea how many comments I have disclosed on auto-mode these past ten months. We five teachers just say what we want to each other everywhere because usually it’s not understood. It won’t be safe to do that anymore. If you see me walking around with a swollen lip and black eye in America, you’ll know why. Another thing. I have hung with these same five teachers, Lisa from North Carolina, Beck from Cali, Khia from Texas, Jonathan from Georgia and Sarah from Cali for the past many months. We have experienced joy, tears, confusion, frustration and everything while teaching here together. These students are my heart. They are some of the cutest, fun, spunkiest kids I have ever met. I will miss them dearly. I will especially miss my crazy Joshua and child-adult Chaeyoung whom I have spent five hours with each week day. It feels insane to think that all these wonderful people were in my life for almost a year and WHOOOSH-gone, just like that. Yes, yes, thanks to technology and all that we can keep in touch. You know how you go to college in a beloved, grown-on-you, town and transfer or graduate? Well, it’s fine, because you can just drive back there on your day off or sometime right? You can go and take in all the smells, sights and sounds, and it will bring you right back. I can’t do that here. This is clear across the world. The other dilemma I have is this. Words give such an after-discount experience. I will have to go home and put this beautiful place in my silly clumsy words. I really don’t want to do that, but I definitely want to share, special friend!! Here. I feel like Lucy from C.S. Lewis’s The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. She has entered the enchanting Narnia leaving behind who and what she knows for a moment. She has met and learned about these astonishing characters, and this amazing place! When she walks back into reality, the “Spare Oom,” (courtesy of Tumnus), what a burden! She is ecstatic! Everybody just has to feel what she feels about this place! They must know! They must believe her! She might have to coax people to trust how spectacular Narnia is. Will they or won’t they understand? The truth was, some people wanted to listen and some did not. Some believed how real the experience was, and some did not. I’m going to the offices necessary and changing my name to Lucy. Since I am a special passionate personality type, this will be an interesting time for me. Well, that’s all the zip-zipping on your eyes for now. I hope to see you very soon! Keep me in your prayers. ROCK! =) Peace, love, and the Dove!